Planning for the Best: First Look

As the wedding season here in New England gears up, I consult with my couples for their day-of-timelines, and how to best plan for photography. I have several questions that come up again and again. In this post, I’m going to talk about “first looks”. Whether or not you want to have one sets the stage for much of the schedule for the rest of the day. Ultimately, it’s a personal choice based on any traditions you and your partner might want to honor, and your gut feelings about how you’d both like to experience the day.

I personally chose not to do a “first look” when I got married, and it is the one thing that if I went back in time, I would do differently about our wedding. I always imagined that moment you see in movies: the dramatic reveal when the church doors open up with doves flying to show the bride, glowing and backlit and a gasp goes throughout the congregation. We were married in a beautiful garden, not a church, and I did have that moment of drama, but I also felt the overwhelming emotions of love and gratitude, and a bit of stage fright when all of our guests turned towards me to watch me walk down the aisle with my dad. Don’t get me wrong, it was an AMAZING moment for sure! But it was hard to focus on my partner and best friend waiting for me under the pear tree with all of those swells of emotions.

I’ve photographed over a hundred weddings since my own six years ago, and now I realize I would have really liked a moment alone to see my husband-to-be, say hello and give him a big hug before we began the day. After photographing many first looks followed later by that entrance into the ceremony, I realize that these are two totally unique experiences. One is a personal, intimate experience with just the two of you, beginning the day together. The other is a moment you share with all of your wedding guests and it might feel something like “Oh my gosh, sh%t just got real! This is happening!!”

Another big plus for having a moment together before the ceremony is that you have more opportunities for those relaxed, natural feeling candid portraits that are important to so many of my clients. This is one of the things I hear most often when couples meet me for the first time, and tell me why they were drawn to my work. Carving out time, and giving yourselves permission to relax together and be present with each other is key to great photographs, and your experience of the wedding. Whether this happens before, or after the ceremony it’s something I can’t emphasize enough.